Russell Bailey

Allow me a bit of room here. These are my ideas, but I do not necessarily approve of them:

A homeless person asks if I have any ‘spare change’ and I apologize that all I have is hundred dollar bills.

Another homeless person asks me for money and I tell them “sorry, there is a lot of competition out there – I already gave my change to another homeless guy.”

Best homeless sign I’ve seen to date. Very simple. It just said, “We’re Fucked.”

I was asked for $32 by a crazy person because he told me that his Ass was bleeding. Seriously. Then he wanted to show me.

I had a crazy person try to sell me a “wireless keyboard and wireless mouse.” They both had the wires wrapped around them. Clearly taken from the library next door.

The reason that we don’t have a recycling program in Los Angeles is because we have homeless people to do it for us.

A guy told me that he was starving and could I buy him a bagel. I said sure. Then he asked me to make sure that it was non fat turkey, jalapeño whipped cream, provolone cheese, and lightly toasted. All I was getting was a plain bagel. Something tells me he wasn’t that hungry.

While a homeless man was asking me for money, his cell phone rang.

Thank you all who tuned in on Thursday to watch me in Flashforward. Unfortunately, my face didn’t make it to the final cut of the episode, but there is a close up of the back of my head! I always knew that my hair was one of my most photogenic features. So, if you’d like to see the back of my head, it is on the left side of the frame right at 24:00 minutes into the episode if you are watching it below.